I did my first paid photo shoot in 1999. It was a wedding at the Salt Lake City Temple. I shot it on Kodak Portra B&W 35mm film. Over the past two decades, my camera has been a portal into parts of life I would not have experienced otherwise. It has been one of my greatest teachers.

This book is accurately named. What follows are are various stories, essays, and rants about photography, art, human nature, and naked ladies.

Below is a rough draft outline of the book’s chapters, with links to the rough drafts themselves. Some are rougher than others. Stay tuned for updates each week.

  1. Foreward
  2. Finding good Feedback
  3. A boxy, beautiful bride: may I take a number?
  4. The Great Compromise– it wasn’t that great
  5. Thou Shalt Not Shoot Thy Sexy Secretary Ever Again.
  6. From consumer to producer: Getting behind the camera
  7. Do it with style: Finding my visual voice / wisdom from my heroes
  8. Ginarie: Destroyer of Men
  9. The Artist’s Way
  10. Nightlife photography / dumbo’s feather
  11. I’ll make you beautiful – for a fee
  12. Things I want you to know abut your boudoir session
  13. The Little Voice shows up in the damndest of moments / the truth about plan B shall set you free, but first it will scare the shit out of you.
  14. The final level Boss: The Porn Star Girlfriend
  15. The problems with Porn
  16. Pretty things: Art is to craft as erotica is to porn
  17. The Uttermost Farthing
  18. The Blood and Sins of This Generation
  19. Jill – poster child for boudoir empowerment
  20. How did a nice christian girl like you get naked so fast?
  21. How to get women to trust you / Tressa: this is how murder mysteries start
  22. The gift of black and white: a very nerdy philosophy of the monochrome medium
  23. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, until you meet her in France 12 yrs later.
  24. Pearl Awards, why nobody likes Mormon pop music, and the zen of Anberlin
  25. The Birthday Massacre: butcher up those preconceived notions
  26. Doug Stanhope – a near miss with fanboy status

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