2019 April 18 Journal

2019 April 18 Journal

Just went out to the car to get my coffee cup. It’s 60 degrees, not a cloud in the sky, it’s an absolutely perfect, brilliant spring morning, and it hit me:

I get to be grateful. 

I will grow out of my current circumstances, with grattitude. I will gratitude my way out of these things. Gratitude is the thing that makes things grow… business relationships, talents, love relationships, everything. And given the energetic nature of my work – my work and my life will be especially affected by my gratitude.  From here on out I get to shift my journaling a bit, into a section of grattitude for something that’s in my world right now, and, then the vision boarding section. 

I had another little voice moment this morning about creating more content. Actually I don’t need to do much “creating”, as it is, letting the content out.  Ai see, and do, and think, and experience, and write enough every day to be putting out a killer blog and video every day. I am guessing that this is the process that really helped Sean grow his business. He used to put out a lot more value, and every day, and I am guessing he was growing a lot then.  Gary V talks about putting out content prolifically, and I most certainly can do that. The voice of Burgs comes to mind…

“you came here with a sense of wonder, and somehow the wonder of it wasn’t enough and we stopped wondering and started to wonder about ourselves.

and in your wondering about yourself, you forgot what you came here for, what you came to be a part of…”

For whatever reason, I have spent way too much time pontificating about myself and not enough time giving, which is, what I came here for and what I came to be a part of. 

Ok, on with the gratitude:

For instance: I am grateful for that car. It’s so pretty, it’s so nice. I’m so glad that I get to pull up to my personal appointments, and dates, in a nice, new, clean car that I never have to worry about the maintenance on, and it’s a car that earns me money too. I’m blessed. 

Oh, and one other thought… I had a hard convo with Rachel yesterday about money. I’m not getting the photo clients I want and need. I hit a wall, reminiscent of some other walls, and I admitted, even declared: I hate being on the hook to make people feel pretty.  I LOVE LOVE LOVE editorial portraiture and black & white.  As I was driving last night I realized that my best, and my favorite work in my career has been – with only a few exceptions – in black & white.  I get to just lean into that love. I get to do as Beethoven suggested and “not only practice my art, but force my way into it’s secrets”.   At the very least, I get to lean much further into my black and white work, because this is where I think I have a few interesting things to say, and, it’s my bliss. I love it. I enjoy it so immensely.  Did Avedon do color work? Yes, of course, for his clients, but is he known for his color work? Nope.  I get to be likewise.  I get to be THE black and white guy. I get to fulfill that ridiculously high compliment given me by Stan – to be “Utah’s Richard Avedon”.  My soul feels calm and excited when I think about relaxing into an emphasis on my black and white work. 


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