2019 April 22 Journal
I reluctantly went to the Bunny Hop at The Garage yesterday. Turned out to be really fun. I ran into Jane Doe *, whom I’ve had a long running internet crush on. We ended up connecting, kissing a bit. It was really, really nice. And, I learned she’s 51. I had no fucking idea. She looks magnificent, and not just magnificent for 51, but for any age. We talked about music, mormonism, sex, dating, all kinds of things. As for dating, she said, ‘I know exactly what I want. Intelligence and humor. That’s it. I’ve had the super successful, guys with six packs, etc etc… but I want you to get me in my mind and make me laugh. Thats it.” It was as if she was saying to me, “You totally have a chance with me. You are a contender, so go for it.” We talked about getting together for wine soon too. I have zero attachments to whether or not anything even happens beyond this. What I appreciated about the experience is that this woman, who travels the world, who is pursued by super high powered men, found me attractive and compelling. That’s fucking outstanding. It’s like that time I met Susan Smith* and made out with her for 45 min at the white party. Mind blowing.
I can have whoever I want. I get to remember that.
Driving proved to be very busy yesterday, but not entirely lucrative. Drove 7.5 hrs for $114, averaging $15 / hr. The averages are getting better. I cleared my goals of profiting $200 this week. Going to to it again this week so I can know my child support is covered just by Lyft, because the city weekly money is just not showing up yet, and photo money seems non existent.
Podcast numbers are slowly increasing, too.
Started listening to the Harriet Tubman biography. One thing that stuck out so far is the mention of all of the people who would secretly teach the slaves to read, and how that was a crime. Can’t ignore the analogs to today’s society – many efforts are made to keep people’s literacy at bay:
God. I just have so many ideas, so much flowing…. I get to FUCKING STOP EDITING SO MUCH AND JUST PUT OUT CONTENT
What if I do a daily morning check in video on FB, and a night time check in on IG? Yep. Let’s do that this week and see how it goes. I still believe in the importance of taking my ideas to the people where they are at… but I also want to create a unique experience for both. Don’t label it, don’t make a big announcement, just do them. Just show up.
One other thing… I’m feeling kind of off physically. My sight is shifting, I feel some really weird itchy burny sensations in my armpits, my guts just feel like garbage every morning when I wake up…. Once I am up and moving around I feel better, but I should not feel wildly hungover and sick when I wake up every morning. I should wake up feeling refreshed. It’s time to start up paleo / intermittent fasting, to “let thy food be thy medicine” and to clear the way for my body’s magnificent healing abilities. Also – it’s time to get sexy AF. 🙂
Women don’t need what men think they need.
It’s not about providing, it’s about protection. It’s like hownlions live.
My story about bravery is a story to protect the territory of my fears.
You think about what you don’t have, so much, that the universe just keeps giving it to you.
The universe always says yes and that is our problem.
You are busy trying to find your niche instead of just living it.
I’m a Mystic, a hopeful romantic, photographer, podcaster, motorcyclist, Burner, father, lover, connoisseur, practitioner of paradox and seeker of further light & knowledge. A Soul Anarchist. Seeking a single deep dialogue, a muse, or a match.
* Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.