2019 June 19 Journal

Got some work done on my journal section of the website last night. There’s some content waiting to be published; there are some things to refine on the front end of the site though. It looks a little jenky still. 

I’m having the most difficult dance with writing lately. There are times when I feel it call to me soooooooooo so so so sooo clearly, in every level of my soul knowing – and then when I sit down to do it, apathy, fog, confusion, indifference, negativity, doubt, discouragement, and all manner of negative self talk all set in. 

I know what the answer is here, I just keep going. Just write. 

Just do the work. 

Don’t freak out if it’s perfect or not. 

Just. 

do. 

the. 

work. 

*publish*

Been listening to a lot of Ben Shapiro lately… 

………and it has me thinking more about doing a second episode each week where I do a review of the news / current events and give my take on things from a soul anarchist perspective.  I’m just not that well versed in politics and current events, not well enough to be a pundit. That takes a level of investiture that I’m not prepared to make. 

God, the last thing I need is more work, but I have a feeling that would really make the show a lot more rich. That would do a lot to put me more in the position of a thought leader. It would be honoring what Eph told me in our channeling session: STAND FOR SOMETHING. 

I get nervous about being called all kinds of bad names, but let’s be honest – I’ve already been called the worst name in the book here in SLC. If I don’t let that baptism by fire purify me and set me free to say all the things, then I have let them win. 

Fuck. 

Ben summed it up well: The woke-scold left has created a space where the only people who will rationally get into public life are those who have never done or said anything publicly, or those who are utterly shameless, or those who are actually on the left. 

We are in a very bad spot. We cannot let the bullies win. 

Part of me wants to be on the front lines, fighting in the battle of ideas.

Part of me knows my role is more shamanic – to heal, teach, and give high level leadership…

I don’t think I can do both. I don’t think I can be on the front lines and be the village shaman.

Everyone has their role.

I’ll just do mine the best I can.

😢

 


_________________________________

Liked it? Take a second to support Paul Duane on Patreon!

Leave a Reply