Father’s Day 2019 thoughts

The situation:

Father’s Day 2017. We are concluding a visit to my sister Camille. An out of tune piano sits in the corner of the baggage claim area of the Mesa AZ airport. My daughter Makelle and I have had an intense weekend. My Dad sits in his wheelchair in the background.

This would prove to be the last time my sister would see my Dad alive, the last time our family would be together.

Makelle sits down and begins playing “First Regret” by Steven Wilson :

“You cross the schoolyard with your head held down
And walk the streets with breaking cloud
With a hundred futures cascading out
It’s complicated…

I can feel you more than you really know
I will love you more than I’ll ever show”

The music of Steven Wilson will always be a special bond for us. A few months later, she would play his gorgeous piece, Insurgentes, at my father’s funeral.

“Now, out of death, you speak in tongues
And out of breath, your work is done
And your dream absolves
And your path dissolves”

I can’t hear any of these pieces of music without tears – of sadness, of gratitude, and awe at the possibility that even the darkest of moments can be exquisitely beautiful.


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