I often get asked where I get my hosiery. Here are my current favorites:
Like wine, hosiery can be one of life’s finer pleasures. A luxury, a sensual indulgence – sure, you don’t need it, but when it’s good – it’s really fucking great – and you really should treat yourself.
Here are five criteria I consider when I evaluate hosiery:
- FIT: If they don’t fit well, you are going to hate wearing them, no matter how many other things are right. A good fitting pair of tights will feel comfortable snug in the crotch (read: no sagging), and the waist band will stay put (read: you don’t need to pull them up and adjust constantly – you can just wear them and almost forget you are wearing them).
- FEEL: for me, this is the #1 issue. It’s the first reason I wear them – I love how they feel on my legs. It’s like food- it’s got to taste good if you are going to even going to eat it. If they feel itchy and nasty, it doesn’t matter how many other things are right. Ladies – you must know this – your legs must be smooth. It doesn’t matter how good the hosiery is, if you are stubbly, even the Mercedes of hosiery will be itchy. There is nothing like the sensation of sliding freshly shaven legs into fine hosiery. It is one of life’s finer (and often overlooked) pleasures.
- LOOK: They have to look good on your legs. This is a bar that’s pretty easy to clear, though. In my experience, every pair that feels good, looks good.
- COST: This is relative – it’s about paying an appropriate price for a conglomeration of the right features. See my notes on Sheer Energy. Ultimately I think of them in terms of cost per wear.
- Love me Long Time: (ie, durability): I’ve seen it all – from nylons that run while putting them on for the first time, to hosiery that last a few years. Durability and feel usually have an inverse relationship – the more durable they are, the less sensual they are… and when a pair can break that rule, they earn points here.
Cecilia de Rafael
Super Lucido
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Fit: 9/10
Feel: 10/10
Look: 10/10
Cost: 9/10
Love me Long Time: 10/10
Overall rating: 9.5 / 10
Cecilia de Rafael’s Super Lucido hosiery have no equal. They have a soft, silky, slippery, sensual feel on your legs that no other pair of pantyhose can create. This unique pair of ultra sheer tights has a signature shine to them as well. Your legs will be radiant, almost glowing in whatever light you find yourself in. One thing is for sure – everyone will be fascinated with your legs.
They are very durable, as well. While not indestructible, they also have never run while I’m putting them on (like many other brands have). They only run if I give the good cause – like brushing up against velcro, snagging them on the rough edge of a wood chair or table, or walking around on very rough concrete without shoes on (it happens sometimes, you ladies know what I’m talking about). Even then, the holes tend to stay local and not run up and down the leg.
Pro tip 1: if you are on the border of sizes, go with the smaller size. They tend to run a bit tall. I find that a lot of hosiery tends to exhibit it’s best properties when you are pushing the boundaries of it’s stretch – ie, wear the smallest size you can while still having a good fit (a good secure fit in the crotch – sagging crotch is the worst). Hosiery that is at full stretch feels it’s most silky and sensual on your skin.
Pro Tip 2: If you are getting a nude shade, go with Moreno. That shade has a way of blending in and giving any skin tone a beautiful, warm glow – a ‘better than bare’ look. People will wonder why your legs look so amazing, and will wonder if you are wearing nylons or not.
I’ve converted many women who “hate wearing nylons” with CDR’s Super Lucido. If you are a nylons / tights kind of girl – give these a try.
Obviously, these are my all around favorite nylons – when you see me wearing hosiery, chances are, it’s CDR’s Super Lucido.
Where to buy: Hosieree.com $25 (frequently on sale for $18)
Falke –
Pure Shine
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Fit: 10/10
Feel: 10/10
Look: 10/10
Cost: 9/10
Love me Long Time: 7.5 / 10
Overall rating: 9.5 / 10
God bless America – AND – the Europeans just do it better, in so many areas. Food, wine, fashion, luxury cars, music… all things sensual.
Falke are made in Germany. Those of you who have owned a German car, understand that the Germans pay attention to the little things in a way that Americans can only pay extra for, let alone, do it themselves.
God is in the details: the threads are finer. More silky and sensual. Stronger, The seams are perfectly executed. The colors feel more refined. And the way they look… it’s very hard to accurately describe. It’s as if your legs have been given a second skin of pearlescent sensuality. They glow – not so much to distract from the rest of your impeccable outfit, but anyone who catches a glimpse of your legs WILL come back for second glimpses. Oh, and the feel? Absolutely yummy. I bet you didn’t know the skin on your legs could register the sensation of “yummy”. They can.
If you eat Wonder Bread and are happy with your Civic with no upgrades, Falke won’t make any sense to you.
If you are someone who loves food & wine pairing, buys the high end sound system, and loves long, hot baths vs showers whenever time permits… you will love Falke.
My first choice for a special occasion or when I want to treat myself. An absolutely gorgeous, divinely perfect pair of pantyhose.
Where to buy: Hosieree.com $39
Gabriella –
Exclusive 15
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Fit: 8.5/10
Feel: 9/10
Look: 9/10
Cost: 10/10
Love me Long Time: 7/10
Overall rating: 8.9 / 10
Gabrielle are there perfect gateway drug to the wonderful world of European hosiery.
They feel GORGEOUS on your skin. They look sexy, eyes will be on your subtly glowing legs all night. The fit is good. The price is great. Durability – average.
That said, you cannot get this kind of hosiery experience in the States for ten bucks. Gabriella’s Exclusive 15 is a wonderful entry into the virtues of European hosiery. Try these out, and you will never buy American hosiery again.
Order a few pair in your favorite shade, and thank me tomorrow.
Where to buy: Hosieree.com $10
Leggs –
Sheer Energy
(non- control top)
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Fit: 8.5/10
Feel: 8/10
Look: 8/10
Cost: 10/10
Love me Long Time: 10/10
Overall rating: 9 / 10
Leggs Sheer Energy are an American institution. Every cheer leader, airline attendant, and back up dancer whose legs have hypnotized you – were probably wearing these. They began as the pantyhose-in-the-egg at the grocery store, and have since found their way around the world.
These nylons have been around forever, and for good cause: They are REALLY GOOD. Not great, and not bad. They are the standard by which I judge all other pantyhose. If you buy them in a two pack, they are about $6 / pair. Quality wise – they are quite durable, fit well, they look nice, and they are reasonably silky. I judge all pantyhose upon this baseline.
Every other pair I’ve mentioned on this page are “better”, to some degree, because, if a pair of nylons cannot deliver at least equal value – they are out of the question.
Though they are harder to find – I only wear the sheer to waist version. The control top cramps my…. style.
Where to buy: One Hanes Place $6
I See Your Legs –
Classic 20 Denier
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Fit: 9/10
Feel: 7/10
Look: 8.5/10
Cost: 8/10
Love me Long Time: 10/10
Overall rating: 8.9/ 10
A few years ago I was approached by a hosiery startup from Denmark (where my people are from!) On the surface, it was a couple of entrepreneurs who had tapped into the idea that men made up a significant, and silent portion of the hosiery purchasing public. They endeavored to create nylons that were for everyone (something that only European hosiery companies have tried up until recently – and most have failed).
I agreed to try out a pair of their pantyhose. They boast a nondescript package, and a wearing experience that you’d expect from Italian manufactured hosiery.
Honestly, it took me a while to warm up to them. In terms of feel… They are a 7. As for look, I’d give them an 8.5. As for durability, they are a 10. It’s been a couple of years, and I just barely retired them from the rotation. I can’t even count how many times I wore them. At $18, I know that the cost per wear was very, very low – and while they aren’t quite as luxurious as Falke, or Cecila de Rafael, they proved to be a trusty pair of pantyhose. I would absolutely buy more from them.
Where to buy: ISeeYourLegs.com. $18
Not my favorites, but I’ve tried them, and you may be interested to know….
Tamara Hosiery – Calendar Girl Pantyhose
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Fit: 9/10
Feel:4/10
Look: 7/10
Cost: 10/10
Love me Long Time: 3/10
Overall rating: 4 / 10
You’ve probably never heard of this brand, but you’ve seen them on memorable legs for decades – on cheerleaders, dancers, and most notably, Hooters Girls. From what I can tell, these are the official unofficial pantyhose of Hooters Girls.
I would be derelict in my duties as a hosiery connoisseur if I did not try out these oddly iconic nylons.
While I do love nude nylons – there are some fine lines between looking really nice and looking a bit awkward. Too light of a shade, and your legs just look weird and pasty. Too dark, you look like Big Bird. The right shade, with the right amount of shine will give your legs a glowing, hypnotic power.
In terms of style -they are completely sheer-to-waist, you’ll never have to worry about unsightly control top peeking out from under your outfit super short orange hooters girls shorts. The toe is sheer, and they come in at a hardy 30 denier.
The fit was perfect.
For various reasons I assumed that these would have a little more shine, and would feel silky to the touch. Not so. They were a bit coarse, and lived up to all of the reasons most women think they hate wearing sheer hosiery.
As for color – they offer them in many variations of nude. I took an educated guess and got “suntan”. This shade turned out to be a dense shade of orange / brown that I did not like. Perhaps one shade lighter would work better for me – but it’s a moot point. I did not like the feel, and for me that’s a deal breaker.
These are some of the most inexpensive nylons out there, at $4.49 plus shipping. They are priced extremely appropriately.
As for Hooters – Now that I’ve tried their nylons, maybe I should finally go in and try their wings some time.
Where to buy: TamaraLegwear.com $4.49
Sheertex- Classic Super Sheer Rip-Resist Tights
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Fit: 9/10
Feel: 5/10
Look: 6/10
Cost: 2/10
Love me Long Time: 10/10
Overall rating: 4.5 / 10
Sweet Mother of Christ- I cannot understand how anyone has the gumption to ask $99 for a pair of tights, and for a few reasons:
What if they don’t last very long
What if the fit sucks?
….and other things.
For the uninitiated, even the most luxurious European brands – the Merceds, the Audi, the Ferraris of hosiery, at their peak offering, only ask 1/3 to 1/2 that much.
Buying a pair of Sheertex is like going into a steakhouse you’ve never been to, and being pressured into ordering a $120 filet. If its outstanding, then, fine. We’ll count it as a win. But it feels like the odds of that are low, and – who the fuck gambles that hard?
RESULTS:
Sheertex are the workhorse of hosiery. Yep, they are tough. They do what they can to look good, but their first duty is durability. As for feel… utilitarian. You are not buying Sheertex because you are a sensualist. You are buying them because you have a job that requires you to wear tights, you might beat the shit out of them every day at work, and you are a practical person. You also probably eat Wonder bread, drive a base model Honda Civic, and drink Folgers Coffee, because economy trumps experience in your world.
Where to buy: Sheertex.com / $99
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