Q&A with Rick about Nylons & Heels: Why and What Did They Think?
People frequently ask certain questions about my experience as a man in nylons & heels. I received a message this week with some of those questions.
I decided to make a blog post of my response and share it with anyone who is curious. English is a second language for “Rick”, which you’ll observe as you read through this.
Rick: Ok, so…i been together and married for 15 years with the same girl we broke up a year ago. After that temporarily met this girl how understood my fetish for nylon stockings and pantyhose also heels. And also me wearing them. I haven’t gone out with it yet and been able to show my friends whom I really are in this. I don’t consider myself as a crossdresser and I am heterosexual.
So, my question (several actually) :
Do you as I feel a need to where stockings/pantyhose like a release or is more that you really love the feeling/texture of it?
Paul Duane: Both, but they are two separate topics:
Above all – I just love how they look and feel. I’ve always been very keen to textures, and as you know, there’s really just nothing like feeling of a quality pair of pantyhose. (And for women who are reading this – I acknowledge what most of you are thinking – WTF? I know. 85% of hosiery out there in the world should be sent to Guantanamo Bay and used to torture enemy combatants). That top 15% though? It’s gorgeous and feels fucking delicious on my nerve endings.)
As for the “Release”: Secrets have a way of building up psychological and emotional pressure. This particular secret does it in a rather unique way. It’s probably a function of your unmet need for validation from the feminine archetype.
There was a part of my life where I was secretive about my love of nylons and heels. I would obsess over them quite a bit, thinking about the next time I could wear them, which ones I’d wear, etc. There certainly was a sense of ‘release’ about it, and I’m making any sexual connotations here.
As I became totally open about wearing nylons and heels, I noticed a shift: that “release” factor evaporated. It went from something I would obsess over, to something I just don’t think about that much. I experience them in a way that’s probably much like how women experience their own nylons and heels: It’s just another thing in their closet that has a time and place.
I’ll wear them when an occasion calls for dressing up – dates, parties, certain business meetings, or when I simply feel like being a little extra sexy and sensual in my own skin that day. Otherwise, you’ll find me in boots, jeans, and a leather motorcycling jacket. You wouldn’t believe how boring my closet is. I think it’s perfect.
Rick: And how did your friends and family take it when you started?
Paul Duane: They’ve ranged from indifferent to totally accepting. The more I think about it, indifference and acceptance aren’t that different: they just don’t care that much.
A few members of my family think I’m completely insane. That’s fine.
When I dress like this, I’m breaking a dozen societal rules, many of which people have built their lives upon. While I like the way I look when I wear nylons, heels, and my custom shorts suits – other people think I look like a goddamn clown, and once in a while, they tell me so.
That’s okay. I accept the fact that people will have their own reactions when I walk out the door into the public sphere, and I cannot be surprised or offended by any of their reactions. After all, I did have the option to wear “normal” boy clothes that day, and I chose not to. That’s on me.
If you are going to do it, have some compassion for everyone around you, and have some style. Though you may be a rule breaker, you’ll want to make sure that your outfit looks deliberate, instead of a hodgepodge of uncoordinated things you stole from your wife’s closet because you lost a bet.
– but that’s a topic for another day.
I hope this helps.